Hello~ I'm UnitedBrothers and I'll be giving you a critique today. ^w^
Alright! Let's begin. First off, you did very well on the clothes and have all the shading in the correct spots. The one thing I noticed that the skirt is a little to flat. It would curve slightly downwards. The hair is not bad but just a little advice. When drawing bangs, I generally find the middle of where the person's hair line and forehead are and draw a line up, then you can drag another line down to show it goes into the rest of the hair.
All and all, this was a pretty good drawing. Nicely done!